I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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