The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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