I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
