Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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