My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
