it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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