I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
