on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize