when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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