Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize