Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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