Who wears a wallet chain?!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
