This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
