the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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