Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize