8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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