he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
not ubering you a puppy
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize