I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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