So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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