perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
