the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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