sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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