butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
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You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
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He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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