all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
