Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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