just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize