Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
