JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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