Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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