just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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