We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
