Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
