no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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