That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
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Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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