Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
where are you?
Hypothermia
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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