do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have feelings that need drinking.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize