I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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