Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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