It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
