Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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