do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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