But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
