I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize