Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
