Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
