i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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