i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
