Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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