I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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