We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
