and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
