it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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