i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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